Wednesday, August 27, 2003

ATC

well, had a surprising weekend.
my good friend michelle came in to visit from St. Paul and her, my ex stacie & I all went to the grand opening party for my friend margaret's new handmade shoe store, Traipse.
it was a really good time. met some wonderful people and even had a good ol' conspiracy/gnosis argument.
i feel a bit guilty about how i dealt with that conversation, i let my aries passionate hot headedness get the best of me, but i know i made my points clearly. just could have been a bit more "gentle" about it.
i've been spending the last few days working on the new website again. hope to at least post a working version by the end of the week. so many images to resize! so much content to fill!
plus getting things together for Around the Coyote
i'm a bit nervous about talking about my art. i'm sure it will go well though.
been working the ideas for the graphic novel too. it's really starting to come together. (in my head at least)

yesterday was my best friend sweet p's birthday (HAPPY BIRTHDAY!). unfortunately, things are at a place right now where i can't celebrate with her easily. sometimes i could just slap myself for making situations awkward.
oh well..i'm only human.and we'll just leave it at that.

crystal & patty are showing their knitties & patty's soap this coming weekend at Womyn's Fest.
those two make the most amazing & beautiful stuff.
i'm addicted to patty's soaps (Scrub No Evil ), the lather is simply amazing.
and the scents & oils.....mmmmm...you can tell they are made with love.


Tuesday, August 19, 2003

life is full of...well...complications, disappointments, miracles, and hard lessons to learn.
lately it's been more towards hard lessons & complicated emotions that leave scars.
why can't anything be simple? why have we all strayed so deep into the abyss of dishonesty, self delusion and self immolation?
well. who the hell knows....
all i know is that i want out.
this whole reality stinks to high heaven of ignorance, stupidity, laziness, arrogance, vanity, i could go on & on.
this isn't by any means to say that i'm separate from any of this.
by no means am i above falling into these trappings. i simply realize it when i do & try to make ammends as best i can.
seems that all i really do is make a bigger mess & end up disappointing everyone around me.
my idealism becomes a curse.
i forget to remember that what other people present to me is projected thru their own reality filter & not my own. mine is so different from everyone elses that this becomes a big problem. especially when i love someone deeply.
i guess i need to learn to never want. to never desire.
to simply be and let life guide me as it will, cus when i stop living in such a manner, all i do is create a big mess.
it tires me. it beats me up & tosses me around like a ragdoll.
the only way i can overcome it is by overcoming myself.
i apologize to the world & all of those whom i have let down.
i'm amazed at the arrogance that can well up in me (damn aries tendencies!)
all i can do is try to be more humble & accept what is given to me.
it's not that i lack confidence or anything like that, or that i have any self loathing tendencies, just that i ask too much of the world and myself.
so, may i die & be reborn before i cause more of a mess than i ever anticipated.
just get me the hell away from this stupid thing called civilization which is by no means what it says it is.

Friday, August 01, 2003

wow, well, my habit of not posting that often can't quite seem to shake me.
where do i start....been trying to keep busy making new artwork for Market Days & Around the Coyote. keeping up the garden: there are now cukes pumpkins & squash starting to grow. black beans podding too. today I sat for awhile & watched the bees a buzzin', pollinating all of the lil flowers everywhere. saw a few other insects that i'd never seen before. one that looked like a mix of a wasp, ladybug & firefly.
going out for some curry tonite with the sweet p. we've been tossing around ideas for a graphic novel. i think it's an artform long overdue for your's truly considering it will discipline me & marry two of my favorite art forms, visual art & writing.
it'll be interesting to see what we come up with. we always have very interesting & boundary pushing conversations about the world, philosophy & just about everything else ya can imagine, so whatever we give birth to should at least be interesting. :)
beyond that there's not much happening other than the regular day to day.
the new website should be up within the next week & i have to get my friend crystal's up & running too.
it's gonna be a super busy week.
till next time...