Tuesday, March 29, 2005


so, pardon the ranting of my last post...
...although the skies were hazy with trails again today.

I'm seriously thinking of finally becoming cellular. my land line is just wAy too expensive.
and after reading that cordless phones are basically using the same technology and i'm getting radio waves thru my head anyway...
so, now i just need to choose a carrier.
anyone got any tips? good experiences, bad?

i'm sittin here at the foys gettin ready to watch What the Bleep.

walked home from work today up the lakefront. been a while since I'd done that, felt good.
I can hardly wait till things start turning green.

Saturday, March 26, 2005

the walking ick

I am so tired of this walking whatever it is i have. wearin me down.
I've been thinkin about it, and i've had quite a few more cases of respiratory ailments since i started walking home from work. Could it be the foul city air? maybe the chemtrails? i mean i DID spend a few MONTHS outside underneath them documenting the spraying.
whatever, all i know is that i've gotta start dealing with my health, especially considering the likeliness of a created global pandemic that will be meant to "thin the herd" and allow org's such as FEMA to install Martial Law.
May sound crazy, but ya best be prepared.
I'm not gonna sit here today & give ya a million & one links, but i will say that there is a growing dialog in the news underground.
The US dollar continues its downward spiral, the current admin. moves forward with its plan to bankrupt the nation and cause global chaos, more talk of avian flu pandemic, if we invade Iran, there will be a world war involving china & russia, the media continually distorts the news (and people believe it! as if they wouldn't lie about Terry Schiavo as much as anything else!).
It constantly amazes me how STUPID americans are. People read a week's worth of coverage about Terry & think they know the whole story. where has all of the coverage been for the last year? I remember first coming across terry's situation almost a year ago on the rense.com site. and why is it that everyone wants to believe the words of micheael more than anyone else?
people are ignorant & prove constantly that they have never learned how to think critically & with a problem solvers mind. even those that consider themselves intellectuals fall short all too often. why is it that people have such difficulty moving on to the next deeper question?
We are witnessing the decline of a civilization that is not evolutionarily viable, and rightfully so.
to hell with patriotism, nationalism, politics, etc. they are the hallmark of slaves.
move into a cosmic mind and understand the global nature of our existence. otherwise, there will be an end to this path we are on & we'll have to start over.

i know i'm ranting, whatever. we've got a chance that hasn't been present in a long long time. will we grasp it or be weak kneed overintellectualized morons who never take action & only criticize?
the choice is in each of us.
you don't have to work for a different way, just stay out of the way of those who wish to create a world that allows us all to express our lives in healthy manners that are based on liberty instead of fear & security.
stop playing their game & using their tools simply because it is convenient. convenience is exactly how they will sell you your own slavery.
remain aware & vigilant.
use what you must, but be prepared to drop it without a thought, otherwise, you already are a slave.

Saturday, March 19, 2005

On Love

Yesterday, I wrote a comment on a friend's blog & was a little surprised at how it flowed out of me, as if it was not even me speaking, but rather, something deep, something new which is sprouting in me. It has been growing for awhile now, and is reaching a point where it is becoming a natural everyday expression, no matter who i am interacting with.
I decided that i should post that comment here as well, as it is inspiration to myself for further writing, further expression.
I can only hope that others find it as inspiring as i do.

here's the post which is about how people define/experience/view "love":

allow it all of the weight & depth that is natural to you. never let other's unawareness lower your own vibrations, your own depth of meaning. love knows no conditions, it accepts all, finding the beauty in every little flaw, in every aspect of being. it is the divine connection. Many may throw around the word, profaning it, blurring it, causing confusion on the part of all involved. These beings are not aware, they know not what they do, they are only doing that which they have learned; they have not yet graduated from their current way of being.

Love cannot be defined, it can only be experienced. it is not a thing, it is not a thought or a feeling, it is more like a way of being, a way of relating & connecting.Yet even this is not enough. One cannot describe love, one can only BE love.
In fact it is even beyond that, because when one moves into love, all boundaries disolve. There is no longer a you involved. You have moved beyond your boundaries, and surrendered to life, having faith that no matter how much flows outward from you, that you will never be disconnected from source, from the divine.
We can only truly know our own experience of love. so much distracts us from our truths. years of programming & witnessing unawareness, they cast a veil over our divine oneness. No one is ever disconnected, they have only forgotten, or been led away from their true nature, their authentic understanding.
In a culture of profit, where ego is ruled as the high god, one can only expect the majority of people to act in a protective manner, concentrating on their own profits, their own needs. This is the madness of western society and the majority of civilization. This madness has been reinforced since our first movement into agrarianism. before food reserves, there was no property, at least not as we think of it now. It is the control of food which started the entire madness of one human deciding the reality of others, of fear based desire, and of the abstract definition of a person's worth.
All of this contributes to the modern attitude towards love and loving.
Everyone is scared. They lack faith. They have been told since birth that they are flawed in a way that can only be overcome by absolute submission to rigid dogmatic ways of being.
The role of a guru is one of casting seeds. this is an ultimate expression of love. There is no regard to where the seeds fall, soil, stone, water, it matters not. the guru is overflowing, a fountain of the divine that resonates outwards with no distinctions as to who or what is the receiver, or whether or not the seeds even find fertility.
This is love. in it self does not exist. one merely becomes a conduit through which the divine flows.
We must all find compassion in ourselves as well as for ourselves if we are to move into love, if we are to accept each others individual paths to the truth, to the divine. Most stumble and are not yet ready. This is perfectly right. We must remember this, as empathy is one of the main keys. In their own time, the seeds will take root in them, and then they will come to awareness, to understanding.
Beyond logic, beyond the rational, beyond even the mystic, Love in it's wholeness is all that is.
We only need to open our being to it.
The dreamer needs to awaken in all of us.
We should all learn the meaning of namaste - i recognize the divine in you, that you are as much god as i am, that all distinctions are illusions and we are really one - for in it, we will recognize the divine in even those considered the lowest of the low.

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

biotech gone crazy

here's a little article by Jeremy Rifkin about human chimeric experiments.
I've read a few of his books, which are all superb & very balanced, including "The Biotech Century", "The Age of Access", "The End of Work" (HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!).
others which i have not read but are equally as important are :"Time Wars" and especially "Beyond Beef" which explains how the cattle industry just so happens to possibly be the most environmentally destructive industry ever created (desertification, anyone?)
definitely check out some of his work if you get the chance.here's a link to his amazon page


yep, feelin lethargic. feverish, achy, and a little out of sorts.
i've been wanting to write, but every time i go to do it, my mind stops.
It used to be that i did not get ill often at all, i was almost impervious.
over teh last few years that has changed. i have to wonder, could it have started when i started spending so much time outside underneath all of those chemtrails?
i'd noticed some heavy spraying about a week ago. matter of fact, i've noticed small amounts of morning trails almost every day.
hopefully i'll be back to my old self in no time.
now if i could just manage to escape the madness of civilisation...


yep, feelin lethargic. feverish, achy, and a little out of sorts.
i've been wanting to write, but every time i go to do it, my mind stops.
It used to be that i did not get ill often at all, i was almost impervious.
over teh last few years that has changed. i have to wonder, could it have started when i started spending so much time outside underneath all of those chemtrails?
i'd noticed some heavy spraying about a week ago. matter of fact, i've noticed small amounts of morning trails almost every day.
hopefully i'll be back to my old self in no time.
now if i could just manage to escape the madness of civilisation...

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

noona kanoona

this is one of my most favorit pics of my lil princess.
very soft, very sharp & faster than a speeding bullet.
and a little muppet-like too, wouldn't you say?

to all of you viewing on a pc...sorry if the image is dark...it looks correct on a mac ;^)

ok, i'm not freakin...yet

things at work are gettin really shaky.
to the point where i'm wonderin if it's a matter of days left till we close.
the owner left such an unbelievable mess.
there's such a huge part of me that thinks the place should go. it's truly tired. let it rest.
then there's thepart of me that's freakin out about having to figure out how to survive again. I've had many luxuries at my job which have allowed me to live the way i want to. The next job probably will not allow it.
maybe i need to find that magical and somewhat illusive "working for yourself" thing.
i've got plenty of crap that i don't need that i could sell on ebay. especially my records & cds. it would be such an interesting experiment in letting go of things.
maybe this is the big call to move forward with my art & especially my music.
i mean, why haven't i already? now it seems a necessity. the time has come.
I've been lucky enough to accumulate pretty much all of the tools i had desired for my creative endevours. i'm very blessed in that regard, with teh best part being that i own it all outright, having not used credit to buy it.
streamlining will be my new discipline.
making wonderful healthy meals for myself, something which i have been way too lazy about, will become a way of being. a much needed one at that.
i'm really trustin the universe right now. so far it's been a wonderful way to live (almost 34 years of it!)
next comes the leap.
excitement, a little anxiety, a lot of awe. it's been a long time coming, and i've been feelin it, calling it. guess sometimes one never quite believes it till it actually happens.
i guess it'll give me more time to write too! just gotta make sure i can make rent.
hope i'm as ready for this as i believe i am!

at least i've got a lot of great new peeps in my life!

Thursday, March 03, 2005

metaphors & filters

i just discovered yesterday while googlin that this here lil blog has been quoted in an article on atheism at about.com (link)
he even managed to call me Ignorant Cat. heehee.
i've only read parts of the article & plan on spending some good time with it & other articles he's posted. i'm going to have to respond, of course, especially since he assumes things about me that are not true & has a very different definition of what the term "god" is defined as (confusing the term with deity) and apparently does not understand that atheism is as much of an absolutist, arrogant belief as any belief in deity might be.
i sense that academics is at fault here. once again the western mind & aristotelian logic rear their limited heads. they're great tools, but don't mistake them for the truth! they are only but one small aspect.
he also states that believing the sky is blue does not qualify as a belief system because it is not attached to any other beliefs (?). well, hate to tell you, but the sky is not blue. you mistake the illusion for the reality. the sky is everything BUT blue!
i know that my response is going to be EXTREMELY lengthy. such a subject deserves more than a shallow understanding.
it's interesting that i have been presented with this opportunity when i was asking existence, asking life (could existence itself be god? is existence a deity?)for a better understanding of atheism & what it truly is. see how life provides when one asks? sure it can be coincidence, but that does not matter, all of that is just a mindgame. all that really matters is that at the proper time, when i am ready to accept & am receptive, a chance for learning has presented itself.
it is interesting to me that the author of the article did not leave so much as a comment on my blog, yet he was so ready to use it as fodder for his own desires & goals. he was not the least bit interested in actually understanding what i said or what i meant by it. if he would have been, should not he have asked me a question or two? instead, he distills his own meaning from it & uses it in an inflammatory way in which he proves my point. he says that i do not understand that religions divide while doing exactly that himself.
i sense an old mind. one that is more interested in history & mistakes. one that is busier defining rather than experiencing.
nothing is absolute. not even this statement.
the main thing is that i am not even interested in being RIGHT. i am more interested in learning, in expanding my understanding. there is no EGO involved in what i have to say or how i understand.I'm not interested in proving myself, of being academically correct. that is all folly. if only those who believe themselves to be so enlightened & correct would recognize the mental & psychological violence that they perpetuate by having to feed their own rightness by attempting to convert others to their way of seeing things & their definitions of reality. it's so adolescent. it's so shallow of an understanding, and it is blatantly disrespectful and arrogant.

i should leave it at that for now or else i'll go on & on & i'd rather compose my thoughts about this. i promise that it's gonna be a thorough one.

thanks to Echo for saying hello. check out her wonderful writing on her blog, which i checked out yesterday. echo,we should share a singlemalt & insightful conversation sometime!
email me!

peace to all of ya...
oh...almost forgot, a new song is currently being processed on my myspace page. should be up for listening by tomorrow (friday)

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

time off

well, i guess it's almost been a month since my last post.
i guess i haven't really had much to say.
many things happening in my life right now, trying to sort them all out.
it can be a little overwhelming sometimes.
many new people, and changes happening.
david, the owner of where i work, passed on this last weekend & things at work are a little up in the air, but i have faith that they will work out.
on the homefront, i've loved spending time with new friends, but at the same time, it seems to be getting in the way of my urge to be more creative, at least when it comes to writing.
i have been working on new music though & there is a rough version of a new song posted at my myspace music page.
i also recently did a collage while watching the oscars over at the Foy's. I had found a SUN & Weekly World News at work & remembered the fun of cut & paste art, so i armed myself with a cutting mat, x-acto, and a gluestick & went to town. you can see the results here

my current music goal is to have a new demo cd ready to give to jazzanova when they are at smart bar on my birthday. I'd shit if i got signed to compost records. that would be sweet.
anyway... times are a changin & i'm a bit anxious to see what life brings.
the excitement of new people,the sadness of saying goodbye to the old. challenging for sure, but all a part of the natural flowering of life.