Wednesday, March 09, 2005

ok, i'm not freakin...yet

things at work are gettin really shaky.
to the point where i'm wonderin if it's a matter of days left till we close.
the owner left such an unbelievable mess.
there's such a huge part of me that thinks the place should go. it's truly tired. let it rest.
then there's thepart of me that's freakin out about having to figure out how to survive again. I've had many luxuries at my job which have allowed me to live the way i want to. The next job probably will not allow it.
maybe i need to find that magical and somewhat illusive "working for yourself" thing.
i've got plenty of crap that i don't need that i could sell on ebay. especially my records & cds. it would be such an interesting experiment in letting go of things.
maybe this is the big call to move forward with my art & especially my music.
i mean, why haven't i already? now it seems a necessity. the time has come.
I've been lucky enough to accumulate pretty much all of the tools i had desired for my creative endevours. i'm very blessed in that regard, with teh best part being that i own it all outright, having not used credit to buy it.
streamlining will be my new discipline.
making wonderful healthy meals for myself, something which i have been way too lazy about, will become a way of being. a much needed one at that.
i'm really trustin the universe right now. so far it's been a wonderful way to live (almost 34 years of it!)
next comes the leap.
excitement, a little anxiety, a lot of awe. it's been a long time coming, and i've been feelin it, calling it. guess sometimes one never quite believes it till it actually happens.
i guess it'll give me more time to write too! just gotta make sure i can make rent.
jeesh.
hope i'm as ready for this as i believe i am!

at least i've got a lot of great new peeps in my life!
:^)

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