Thursday, May 05, 2005

I'm just not interested in being right! I simply want to make you think!

" Sometimes I am amazed at how goofy i can be.
This morning i gave S. a printed copy of my last post (symbiotic frolic).
i KNEW that there was going to be criticism right away, not the bad kind, mind you, but rather a kind that is well intentioned & actually made me happy.
I was so amused at how she started swatting at me with the papers! it made me laugh!
i swear, in so many ways i feel like she is my zen guru!
she calls me on shit & it's great.
She is definitely the right person for me to have put this definition of religion thing in front of.
I knew that she would give good argument. we haven't really had the chance to go that deeply into it, but i hope we will.

So to 'correct' the misunderstanding..I'll say this...
maybe my definition of religion is a little TOO wide, but there needs to be a deeper discourse about the subject.
The understanding that most have about religion is very shallow.
Considering the ethical issues that are cropping up as we move into this strange new world we are creating, how can we simply glance over what religion means? what spirituality means?
there are many that would throw out the baby with the bathwater.
We cannot simply condemn religion as being barbaric or a last vestige of the old human.
It must be transformed & redefined. It must expand.
It is the very mud from which the mystical lotus blooms.
The lotus must leave behind the darkness of the mud, the murkiness in order to climb thru the cleansing waters & reach the open sky, where it's beauty blooms.
It's roots are still in the mud, in the base material from which it's being was launched.
It is beyond the middle, the water, in both directions, above and below. if water is this world we live in, the "material" one, then the lotus exists both before & after/ above & below.
Cut the roots before the blossom and the beauty never comes to full fruition.

If one wants to move past even the flowering, beyond the need for such expression, to move into the infinite and out of the material, out of maya, there is a very small time between the flowering and when the lotus comes to seed.
This is when the roots must be cut, not before, not after. But remember, this is only for those who wish to be released from the wheel of incarnation in this world.
there is nothing wrong in wanting to go another round. many have unfinished business. Let them finish it, they must, or they will not be ready for the journey beyond! they cannot be!
and there is so much beauty in this life! one onnly has to learn to witness it, to live it!
Many religions would wish for you to believe that this is the fallen world, but it has it's own beauty, it's own purpose. It may be a school, It may be meaningless, but nonetheless, it has it's beauty, that cannot be denied!
Do not be so busy trying to escape from this place that you forget to even recognize this gift of life which you have been blessed to express.
do not get me wrong, I recognize the pain & suffering as well, but even these serve their own beautiful purpose if one allows them to.

To return to S.:
she was perplexed & frustrated that i actually believe the same as she does...what is ususally considered zen, taoism, whatever...that which in truth cannot be named.
All language fails to express it. it is an experiencial reality...yet I would continue to make a statement that even non belief is a religion of sorts.
It matters not if it is or not, i was simply making a point, testing, seeing if even I believed what i was saying.
When it comes to zen & taoist traditons, there is quite the slippery slope.
One cannot truly distill the experience of the tao into words, yet traditions do so.
people will quote the tao te ching as if it is the bible. stupidity!
read it for yourself, use it as a spark for your own journey into EXPERIENCE. Do not use it as a book to quote wise ideas to others. That is not what it is for. that is not what any scriptures or words are for. fundamentalism is the very weakest of idiotologies...i mean, idiologies. atheism is the same. the only difference between fundamentalist "religion" and atheism is one of action. the belief in an absolute knowledge is the same in both systems of belief. They both scoff at agnosis, not realizing that it takes more strength & willingness to surrender in admitting that one does not know or that one cannot know.
Atheism & fundamentalism in general serve only one purpose, the survival and empowerment of the ego. At least fundamentalist religions usually still maintain some sort of level of surrender, however misguided.
but atheism is just egotistical and on top of that, extremely unimaginative.
of course, who am i to say, it could very well be that it is a belief that those individuals need to go through.

In a way, taoism died the day lao tzu was asked to write it all down, if it was even he who did the writing.
as osho would say,
NO enlightened master EVER writes anything down, their disciples do that. The enlightened master only even uses language because it is a must for communication with most people.
It stands in the way of understanding at least as much as it aids in such.
masters speak, they do not write .
even osho, who has hundreds of books published that are transcriptions of his "discourses" his "jokes" as he would say on occasion, only wrote personal letters. he did not write any of his books, and this is very apparent when reading them. It is an experience of a completely different order to listen to him.
he was such a madman! such a trickster! yet i love him so!
There is a resonance there that scares me & thrills me all too much.

I purposely used a certain language in my last post, making sure to state "I currently am believing..."
It is not a belief that i have, but rather something that i am believing so that i can go thru it & understand it.
it is a quesion which i seek to move past, to understand on some level.
once i am feeling at least a little content with my relationship with that question, it will be dropped & i will more than likely never speak of it again unless someone else brings it up.

I enjoy asking odd questions, making odd statements and basically throwing a wrench into whatever system is in front of me.
I wish to stop the gears for long enough that i can get a good look & see exactly what it is that makes that system work.
Like a Gurdjeiff or a zen master...i sometimes aim to stun to catch off guard, in order to awaken, to bring one to the present or simply jar them into a line of thinking that is not "normal" for that person.

Like a bucky fuller, david icke, or an osho, I move more and more into living life as an experiment.
if my beliefs in this regard are to be quantified in any degree, i would have to say that i am a few things that all go together quite well. I tend towards animism. I like to believe that everything is sacred & imbibed with spirit because for me, that WORKS. it creates creative & loving relationships in my life & helps keep me from having profane relaationships with things as well as with people.
It has led me to a sort of "time travel" in the moment, i can witness an objec'ts past & an abstract way, not in some psychic way that's gonna get me a job with the coppers! haHA!
What i mean is that i have an awareness about what went into something, the energy, materials, work, suffering, etc.
i can also see where it is going, i.e.: was it designed for reuse, recycling? is it going to a landfill so that in the future it will be mined for raw materials and cause the use of even MORE fuel & energy to transform it once again? What about the health effects for both ourselves & future generations of ALL beings?
Animism works for me in this way. It makes me really think & feel about things. It brings me deeper into empathy with my surroundings.

i would also say that i lean towards tantra.
Now, most people, when they hear this, immediately think it is about sex. This is not the case, but the oversexualized mind will immediately gravitate towards that aspect.
there are differing schools of tantra, the one that i am most familiar with is Vigyana Bhirava Tantra, the 112 techniques which Shiva spoke to Devi as she sat on his lap wrapped in each others embrace.
My understanding of these techniques is this: that ANYTHING can be a technique for enlightenment, for trancendence, for moving into the experiencial reality that is beyond the mind, that is sometimes referred to as...dare i say it...God.
ANYTHING! isn't that awesome!?!
there's no one magic bullet! we all get to have the freedom of discovering what works for us personally! an individually tailored technique for trancending the individual! crazy!

I love it!
It is the opposite of yoga in many ways. it is not against anything. everything has the ability to be a great teacher to you. it becomes a matter of awareness.

But i have a problem cropping up with this.
When one starts experiencing everything as a vehicle for growth, how does one maintain friendships? relationships?
everything is changed! nothing is the same!

I sit learning as a friend converses with me. I can feel the transformation happening right then & there. It could even be that the words that had just come out of my mouth the last time i talked have no more meaning and seem utterly absurd to me.
Sometimes it is the opposite & i find more depth of understanding in a fleeting thought then i though possible.

the only thing i can make of this is that it is the point where the ego must be dropped. The "I" doesn't deal very well with this situation. rather...the MIND does not deal well with it because it is so damn busy thinking about what it all means that it begins to pull one out of the flow, the no-thing, the becoming.

It's time for me to really start to meditate, going deep wthin, beyond the mind.
otherwise, I'll simply end up like the sad mystics of the west such as nietzche, becoming mad & having a breakdown instead of a breakthrough.
something i most definitely wish to avoid!

enough of my blah blah blah for today.


1 comment:

  1. Of course you guys believe the same thing, because it comes from the same place. That you speak of it in similar terms is the defining factor.

    You're onto it and know it. That is the point. The social, behavioral, cultural world is what defines religion, spirituality all that jazz. These are the trappings that get us stuck into one experience because of how we are conditioned to live. We have a physical form, our lives are physical, our world is the physical manifestation that we are taught to recognize, so that is what we will lean toward, the concrete, seen, touchable. The enlightenment or mystism just doesn't jive with the current modes for the most part, because a shift needs to take place, or is taking place in our perceptions. Our history speaks of this type of transcendance: the Victorians, Intellectuals, Hippies and countless other behavioral movements are indications of this. It is all a big wheel continuing to roll around finding what is good enough for right now, the ebb and flow.

    Think about this, then let it go: We are never truly in the moment, because the moment is already gone when our perception connects. Thinking about what it all means, the hows and whens. Meditation is a means to meet that essential part all beings are longing to touch, feel, commune. Within a meditative state we seem to skip over the thinking and wanting to think, like you mentioned ego. Ego=control. Control=safe. Safe=sanity(?) Detaching doesn't always mean insanity. Hell, in some cultures your journey is sanity. It is what makes it all worth the piss and shit this life seems to dish out. Just remember about love, reread that comment/post. I am beginning to see it as a key. But you already know all of this and I'm just preaching to the choir.