Tuesday, June 21, 2005


"Whenever you follow your potential, you always become the best.
Whenever you go astray from the potential, you remain mediocre.
The whole society consists of mediocre people for the simple reason
that nobody is what he was destined to be — he is something else." - osho

It is so easy to get lost in mediocrity. I am steeped in it most of the time, not making any movement or effort towards reaching my potential.
I do a lot of inner work, yet I seem to have difficulty transfering that into the outer world.
Maybe I am afraid of my destiny. it seems to be so absurd. So over the top & crazy.
Grandiose in scale, at times it has verged on the messianic.

how to express, how to be, how to relate, how to not let arrogance or egotism overcome what could otherwise be an immensely beautiful transition.
all of these are huge concerns of mine. hence, i am obsessed with this "egolessness".
only by understanding & being egoless will there be a state where my being overflows in the way in which i feel that it is destined to.

normal, everyday life is so meaningless to me. so much of it disinterests me.
it could be that i am simply ready for a new worklife.been workin the same job for much too long, and it is making me feel increasingly unfulfilled.

I think that i ahve decided that my music should be a main focus right now. the further i move into it, the more fulfilling it becomes.

I've also been having ideas of comedic expression...sketch comedy, ala Mr. Show or UCB...with a mystical edge
gotta start writin ideas...

Eventually i wish to build a community, where i do not know.
and no, i don't wanna start a cult for all of you that were wonderin! haha!
the thought of a new kind of commune or self sustaining community is interesting.
so many unbelievably creative ideas have been spawned over the last century.
technology is even moving into an age of sustainability, however slowly.
if we'd simply get over the profit motive, the second third world countries would not have to work throught the horribly savage early steps of the industrial & energy revolutions.
we need to learn to share.

ok..i feel like i'm simply babbling at this point so that's it for today.


  1. Just...breathe. You have always been too cerebral, I think.

    Cellular, aye? I read that you have gone cellular. Well, then, I have too. Something I also said I never would do.

  2. too cerebral....i THINK. interesting :) and i agree to some extent, yet it is a stage that was meant to be moved through. it is a matter of integrating the art of communication. the more i've examined & grokked everything that comes my way, the more empathic i have become. it has been a good thing, although at times it has definitely been overbearing.
    remember, i am an aries & aries are ruled by the head. thankfully, I can balance that out with my piscean moon & ascendent.
    if this comment was left by who i think it was, i know that you have felt this. i also think it has been misunderstood as being something other than my natural state, that it has been meant to impress, which is not the case.
    anyway, if this anonymous comment was made by the person i think it was, i would love it if you would write & say hello. you are missed.