Sunday, November 27, 2005


been workin my way thru the start wars movies this weekend.
it really surprises me how many of the most extraordinary aspects of that movie were not intended, or at least that lucas is not talking about the intent in the bonus material, or if he does it is much much shallower than i thought it would or should be.

beyond that nnot much happening. I have wanted to be a hermit lately.
i dunno if it is winter or what. feel like i need to reset my dials.
yesterday i was thinkin that i'd like to have a month of silence.
seems a bit excessive, but could be radically effective.
no music or vid stimuli. hard to imagine.
i am so addicted to both.

sittin in B&B right now on sunday morning & just thinkin about all of the bs i let swirl around in me & take over.
my out of control crushes and the inability or unwillingness to ask any of these crushes out.
matter of fact ,i sit here looking at one of them right now.
if only i was younger....

two guys are sitting talking about past politics & the iron curtain a couple of tables away & i'm realizing how much that kinda stuff makes me laugh. i've become so awakened to the truth about the veil of politics that i can't even imagine believing that political answers will ever solve everything.
they solve nothing. like bullshit bandaids they are, allowing the wound to turn gangreen under their shallow understanding & care for things.
politics only exist to feed ego, to make people feel that they are involved.
yes, there are some things which do actually manage to work being created & dealt with in this manner, but very few. and really, all political solutions just create more political problems.
politics os of the head.
it is ideological, and can never be what it aims at being because of this.
it is for textbooks & classrooms, for dead minds, minds that are enslaved by history.
if this is not the case, why is it that the same situations keep recycling?
it is due to lack of visionary solutions. it is due to this idea of right & wrong, of identity with ego, with nation, with place, with family even.
all of these walls we put up. separating ourselves, destroying connections. reinforcing otheers thru false notions of what it means to love.
if you really believe that some people are more worthy of love than others, then you do not know what love is!
you have missed it!
love cannot be contained. it has no limits. NONE!!!!!!!
yes, we have to be aware and awake when it comes to sharing, to experiencing, but it is not a limitation.
it does not mean shut off!
it means go deeper. seek empathy. understanding. connection.

i keep finding myself a bit disturbed y how cut off one of myfriends is, doing whatever he can to keep unintended interactions out of his life. headphones as a wall.
walls all over. yet trying to bridge a wall that I'm not so sure he is aware of the consequences of.
cryptic? a little. but for now i leave it at that.
I think i simply need to come to the realization that i am in a position to help him wiht his understanding of what is happening before it is too late.
it involves international affairs, with a very sketchy country.
and i do not think that he wishes to realize the truths behind the government which is helping him realize his project.
the big red C. it is going to be interesting to see how that country acts over the next few years.
hard to believe that people are not wondering why it is that they are attempting to inplement a HUGE language program in the US. they already make the majority of what we buy.
(if that ain't enough clues for ya, i dunno what to say)
so, i aqm trying to figure oout how to open nmy friend up to questioning motives.
it is easy to get caught up in not paying attention to that when one is receiving lots of funding for their programs from this big names in international affairs.
it'a going to be an interesting decade. nuff said.

back to star wars to finish... has anyone realized that in truth that movie is a battle between monotheistic/dualist theology & zen/ non diety based beliefs?
the sith are not much different that yahweh, ya know.
the judaic tradition, including christianity can pretend all they want, but read that frikkin Talmud. one of the first major idealogical acts of genocide was performed by teh followers of YHWH when they took the "holy land" salughtering everyone, including children & taking the virgins of their enemies as their wives.
THIS is the foundation of monotheism.
and the excuse: they were nefilim! offspring of fallen angels.
i don't buy it.
the blasphemous question: what if yahweh is the greatest deceiver ever?
espousing love while spreading the most hateful doctrine ever throughout the world?
is this not exactly what history shows us?
it is why so many morons become atheists.
and it is understandable.
but to simply abandon possobilities of something more because of one horrendous version of "god" is childish.
it is shallow, and those who do so know no depth.
they cannot, as they have built a wall, a limit to what they can believe, what they can perceive.
but at least they have also abandoned the notion of this parentlike figure.
they have simply contracted rather than expanded.
and it is too bad.
i am amused at how the whole "inteligent design" debate has now got BOTH sides of the BS creationism vs. evolution argument all fussy.
maybe we are ready to start growing into a broader discussion.
something with possibilities, with vision, with some life to it.
one can only hope.

enough ranting.

so how many of you did i upset today?

enjoy it. it may be the seed to someething new.

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