Wednesday, December 07, 2005


What a strange & exhilarating week it has been.
first things first...
the intensification, and crossing of boundaries that happens with new people...expecially one that i find REALLY attractive & am feeling incredible resonance with.
since i try to keep the namin names to a minimum on here, let's simply refer to her as J.
most of you reading this will probably know who i am talking about anyway ;)
it has been wonderful to expand our communications, especially making the leap to the phone.
distance can be such a pain though, but with patience, meeting in person will happen, i'm pretty damn sure of that!
i keep having this intense impule to just blow off work & drive.
if only finances & teh state of my vehicle would allow that...hence the need for a little patience.

on saturday i did my new workout for the first time and it seriously kicked me ass.
I'm so psyched - know how powerful this shit is gonna be.
i just wish that i did not have carpet as it does not lend itself well to yoga/martial arts.
i managed to do some heavy damage to my left index toe by catching it on the floor & twisting it under the foot. every single joint in that toe is black & blue & bruised.
luckily it does not hurt much (only when strained or abused, both of which i am avoiding)and has nearly a full range of motion. it was only really stiff for a day.
still not able to do the long dist walks though as the underside, next to the ball of my foot is tender enough that i can feel it with every step.
that is when it is actually nice to have the carpet.

it feels so good to have this wonderful feeling runnin through me again.
both with myself, and with the way i am feeling about someone new.
it's been a bit too long.
it's giving me some real perspective, and definitely presenting me with some psychological findings about myself that i am all too ready to deal with & drop.
interesting when ya realize how messed up past situations they affected you...that maybe it was not you who did not quite get it but that the other person was a little bit on the multiple-personality tip.that and knowing that the way in which she said goodbye was completely insane. but i can check the archives for that shit.
makes me very thankful that this new resonance, this new excitement, feels healthy centered & supportive, even though it is so new and even long distance & with no expectations. I reallu like trusting life, especially when it is like this!
always good to find another person who makes ya feel like you are comfortable being yourself.
it's one of the best things in the world. better yet when that feeling is accompanied by the push, the prodding to be even more, even better, to grow! the perfect blend of compassion & criticism is one of the biggest turn ons in the world to me.

here's to the now & here's to what is to be!

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