Wednesday, February 15, 2006

ah-ha!

I swear, if I wasn’t able to laugh at myself I would be such a mess!
Tonite I feel at peace after a day of total inner chaos.
I completely lost center today. My mind was spinning.
I don’t even think it could hold on to any one thought for long.
Must have been some intense processing going on.

Tonite I breathe deep, knowing that everything is perfectly fine.
That life is blessing me in the strangest ways.
It’s just a matter of perspective.

Keeping centered is quite a feat right now.
Takin about all I’ve got.
But I love a good challenge.
I may freak out, but once I get my bearings & really start focusing again, things become clear.
Letting go. Being open.
Enjoying life, celebrating.
I do not ignore the pain, the troubles, the challenges.
I cannot walk away from them.
I move through them, discovering more of my own being, of those involved, as masks drop.
It is in the middle of these challenges that our true colors are displayed.
It is where we are most naked, vulnerable.
It is also the place which gives birth to everything ecstatic.
Living dangerously is the only way to be open to the experiences which life gives us.
Not recklessly, but with awareness. Taking risks.
At times taking great leaps of faith, trusting.
Each of us leaps at our own time.
Some are ready so quickly, are so open to the risk.
Others take time. They may not have the tools they need yet, nor the experiences.
Or they may simply be enjoying things and taking their time!
We do not all ripen at the same time.
Yet we can all nurture each other’s process of ripening.
We do not have to ignore our own to do this.

It is so important to embrace the notion of both/and rather than either/or if one is to truly embrace the possibilities that are available to us.
It can be multiplicity, it can be sharing, it can be an openness that comes with honesty, with trust, with building lives together.

We all too easily get caught up in the segmented compartmentalized version of how our relationships with those around us should develop.
Why do we buy into this? Is it simply because we have been programmed from birth to do so?
This limitation of love, of expression, of positive connections between people seems so unnatural.
It is making us ill, full of dis-ease, hungry for connection.
Sometimes we act rashly, letting out the repressed sides of ourselves; we fall asleep at the wheel.
This can lead to very damaging results to both ourselves and those around us.
Yet we all make mistakes and we must allow them.
Maybe we should not call them mistakes even, but rather, poor choices.
They were choices that were not rich with that which brings life,
which nourishes & brings one closer to the divine.
We must simply bring as much awareness to our actions and expressions as we can.
We must develop the inner technologies which allow us to do so.
It takes time & we have to have patience with ourselves.
We have to have patience with those around us as well.
And most of all we must have forgiveness and empathy; we must attempt to understand others as much as ourselves.
We need to see the larger dynamic, the whole that we together create which is more than simply the sum of our individual parts.
This is how we can create dynamic, compassionate co-creative communities and families.

It need not be all work, it’s gotta be play too!
We must enjoy the process.
It should be a celebration of each other.
It should be a celebration of life itself.

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