Monday, February 13, 2006

change

Through the eye of the needle – that is where I am being thrust.
All around me change is happening, death & rebirth.
For a moment, I start to lose my shit, but then I remember:
I am the calm at the center of the storm.
The key is to simply be, to accept, to watch the drama that is life play out.
This interaction of beings, of becomings, of undoings…
It is all so much to digest!

I am receiving the message to move on from my job, to start something new.
I think this may be the final week. It looks as if it is all crumbling around me.
All of the players involved are frazzled, falling apart at the seams.
I alone seem to be calm.
I have no rational reason to be, especially since financial hardship may be coming my way.
But then, what is the point of worrying? What will be will be and as long as I stay true to my heart, to my very being, all will happen as it is supposed to.

The return of the most important person to ever enter my life has jarred me as well.
How could I have forgotten one bit how amazing, brilliant, witty, gorgeous, and caring she is?
I do not think it is possible for me to love anyone more than this.it is beyond words.
Through all of the ups & downs (including the challenges of the now!) we have maintained that inner connection, and it is amazing to get to experience each other again, and finally in a way which is free.
I did not expect this blessing to re-enter my life. I thought it was a dream of which I had to completely let go.
When I was still holding onto it I could not even think of anyone else.
I tried, I really did. And I met amazing women, so many of them!
Shared wonderful conversations and more, but none, and I mean none of them make me feel the way sweet p does.
And considering that I’ve seen the goddess in so, so many, this is saying more than any of you could know.
It is something which can only be experienced.

I know I’ve met my soulmate, no matter how corny you may think that sounds.
I feel that I have known her for lifetimes.
With her, I am at home.
I know she’s probably reading this too, and maybe blushing a bit right now….
With love, with such devoted friendships, time warps.
It intensifies too.
I find myself wanting to start the rest of my life right now, not tomorrow.
Yet patience is the key to everything. Right?
Just trust, make the leap, and know that life will take care of us.
This is what I keep feeling.
It is what I wish to do.
To let the fears burn away.
To let the good stuff start.

Thank you existence for bringing me to this place, to these experiences.
May I be aware & loving in all that I bring.

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