Tuesday, March 14, 2006

how my garden grows

yeah i bet you are thinking that this is going to be a post about me planting my garden!
well, guess again!
i write of my spiritual, my existential garden.
it keeps becoming more & more beautiful as i take the time to experience each flower, each blossom.
as it sprouts, as it grows, as it buds & blooms, as it seeds & withers into the past.
such a beautiful thing.
so natural & flowing when one does not fight it.
when one does not feel the need to grasp too tightly.
to have a gentle touch, a touch of love, of understanding, of reverence.
something which is very lacking in these times where most things & relationships become desacralized and seems as passing & meaningless.
it simply amazes me how when i remain less attached to outcome i am more & more capable of experiencing the deep richness of my experiences.
The true depth of connection with those close to me becomes so obvious.
i can see how much of a blessing it is.

i have to admit though that in a way my detachment is an easy way to stay centered in this crazy ass time we are in.
most around me are in turmoil, and even a lot of my own experiences over the past few months have been rather life changing & revealing in nature.
they are the kinds of experiences that in the past would have knocked me off of my feet & left me depressed & wondering what the hell i am doing & where i am going.
instead i find myself laughing.
the absurdity of it all: time, distance, expectations, illusions, unneeded guilt,fear of rejection, of judgment...
for the first time in years, i spent the winter in action instead of hibernation.
it makes me doubly excited to see what spring has to bring.

i've got a list of projects to work on...both work & play and the year is becoming more & more fruitful with each passing day.

the change is finally happening.
the sleeper is awakening.
there's change on the wind...can you feel it?
it's coming & it is going to change everything.
i can only hope that more & more are doing the inner work needed in order to withstand it.
whether or not the change is drastic should not matter. it is the change inside that counts most as it will then reverberate outwards.
we must be the change we want to see in the world.
at our very core.
otherwise, aren't we just faking it?

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