Thursday, June 15, 2006

lessons welcomed with warmth

Some lessons come when most unexpected, but most needed.
It can be found in misunderstandings, in refusals, in rejection.
And it can be glorious in the depth it strikes.

The way in which I navigate my emotional, mental & spiritual beings and experiences these days never ceases to amaze me. I am constantly brought to a rather joyous awareness of how misguided and caught up I can get.

I forget how radiant I am, and by this I simply mean radiating whatever it is that I am feeling, thinking, etc. More than words, with my eyes, with my very aura, with my psyche or whatever we want to call it ethereal body, aura, and all o’dat.
My messages ring loud & clear and it is obvious in the feedback I get.
Sometimes I think I must be really convincing myself of some amazing realities that the other people simply do not want to participate in. they may have wanted to at one time, but no more.

I still have not quite been able to grasp my relationship to relationships. Somehow I manage to always find some difficult & friction ridden situation. I love challenge, or rather, to be challenged, that is for sure.
It is in my very nature. What is infinitely amusing to me though is how misunderstood this is. So often it is taken for arrogance or egotism. People must think that I believe I’m a pharaoh or some shit, on some power trip. I think about this too. A lot. It is something one has to always be aware of when waking the pathless path. It is as easy to be a devil as to be an angel. One must always be careful.
I myself use unconditional love as my rule to guide me. Compassion. Acceptance. Belief in, dare I say it, salvation?
Not that we need to be saved.
It could be we simply need to awaken from our dreams from our nightmares.
There is room for everyone and everything at “god’s “ table.
One must wonder, does Yahweh have enough compassion to forgive Lucifer?
Can we not be so simplistic about this whole thing?
Especially since it seems to be bringing itself to self fulfillment through quantum projection?

I think I came up with a good law if we have to have a law.
I think this one is quick & to the point and launches one into repercussions quite quickly:

"Your enemies shall be reborn as your children and your children's children, as well as you being born as your enemy's child and so on and so forth through future generations until the day in which that which is dissonant is brought into resonance."

Back to the lessons learned.
I’ve realized I cannot be known through words, through this blog, through e-mails, or even through phonecalls. Nor can you.
The only way is through direct experience. Our words never really express our intentions, our desires, our dreams and frustrations. You hear what you want to hear in my words, read what you want to read in my text, see what you want to see from my images. And I do the same.
There is a place that can be created though, where a deeper dialogue can happen, face to face. We reach at the connection, the understanding, but frustration sets in so often as misunderstanding sets in.
It is amazing to live in a time of language polarization happening on one level while cross cultural barriers are happening on another and all the while everything keeps getting more pluralistic, more information, more images more sounds, overwhelming, yet somehow…can we manage? Can we make any sense of it?

I think so, if we develop the proper inner technologies.
I was recently watching a vid on Conscious Media Network with Ashok Gangadean.
Quite an amazing man, and at the same time quite scary in his zealous plans for a “world spirituality” and a “world reason”.
He is so right about it being needed, this ability to look through each other’s cultural lenses, while still maintaining our own cultural identities.
I fear that the zeal for this cause put forth by the UN’s Council on Global Wisdom, of which he is a part, could be used just as easily for a type of spiritual and intellectual totalitarianism.
It is all going to depend on how we view & help this manifest.
WE are the ones doing the believing.
WE are the ones that accept or reject ideas and philosophies.
We are the ones who make all of our daily decisions about how we interact with existence in all its forms.
So I think it is very important in these times to build and nurture those inner technologies which will help us navigate through the chaos, find the order, not get attached, and realize that transition is the only thing that remains the same.
Everything is changing, always.
And we get to decide what tomorrow brings. Not anyone else that existed before. We may be stuck with the artifacts of their imaginations, but that can be looked at just as much as a gift as a burden.
We are being challenged and I know that those alive now are up to the challenge.
We are slowly stepping forth & making our baby steps into this transition.
So freaky. So scary, unknown, unknowable.
I think the best thing we can do is to keep faith, in life, in existence, in god, or whatever you want to.
But don’t be a slave to it.
Recognize it as one glittering, gleaming facet of the jewel which is god’s expression.
(yikes, did I just write that. I think I’ve been reading too much mysticism! Hahaha)

we all deserve a chance to be ourselves. To be creative, to be joyous, to be loved and to love.
I know that the only way I can deal with the situation is to be as loving as I can be.
Tough, especially when frustrated with zombies, but I try my best.
i know they will wake up in their own time.

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