Monday, October 30, 2006

truth and illusion

So much to digest over the last week.
Truth yet again put into question.
What is real, what is not?

One thing that many people do not understand is that half truths, lies, and deceit hold their own truths.
It is only when we hold onto illusion that they do us damage.
Otherwise, they can reveal just as easily and readily as truth does.
Sometimes people simply cannot face their own truths so they deceive themselves.
Then this extends outwards.
Of course, there are times when people can also be deceitful in order to gain selfishly.
When these people meet with someone of truth, they are confronted with the mirror.
An awakened individual cannot be shaken by deceit.
A person who lives in truth stands strong.
Seeing and witnessing the deception can be tricky, but it I can also be a bit of a laugh if one remains lighthearted.
I, luckily, have enough experience rising and falling at this point that I am used to the ride.
One of the most interesting manifestations is that the person who lives the authentic awakened life will almost always create a situation in which the deceiver is forced to face their own deception.
But the situation is not actually created, it simply arises out of the very essence of the awakened.
It canot help but be otherwise, because when deceit and illusion come face to face with truth, they cannot help but dissolve, for the lies have no firm foundation.
A being of truth, of love, of trust cannot be shaken.
There is no doubt to cause the cracks. The weight of the deceit is thrown completely onto the shoulders of the deceiver.
At this point, the time comes for the one in illusion to either meet with their own truth or fall deeper into lies and illusion.
If you are accepted even in your deceit, if you are loved even while wearing the veil, imagine how much more love and acceptance will be there once the veil is lifted!
It is the flowering of truth, of authenticity which matters.
The seed of that flower may lie in shit for awhile before it germinates.
It may be completely mistaken for something to be tossed by many.
But the being who seeks authenticity and awareness recognizes.
It is all the foundation for something more.
The transmutation will happen.
When, one cannot say. But one can nurture the transformation.

Overcoming our lies and deceptions about ourselves as well as others is one of the most freeing transformations we can make.
It nurtures connections, acceptance, and empathy.
We all fumble.
We all fall.
We all suffer.
And we all need some solace now and then.

True deep connections survive the crucible.
They transform and accept mistakes, shortcomings, misgivings, and misunderstandings.

When we relax and flow and let things naturally be what they are, life provides.
There is no need to feel poor.
Wealth is all around waiting.

Recently there has been much talk about intention and it’s power.
In many ways this is good, but people of the west tend to be very irresponsible in the way in which they present this material.
I especially feel this way about videos such as ‘The Secret’.
There is no talk of the fact that all desire leads to suffering.
There is no talk about the role of ego.
There is not talk about negative vs.. positive.
There is no talk about the emptiness.
In truth, what “The Secret” is talking about is just as much about black magic as it is white.
ALL intention is based in the EGO.
It must be so, because it it’s the individual telling existence that what existence is providing is not god enough for you. You want more. It is in a very real sense, greed.
It is you telling the cosmos that you know better than the whole of creation what is needed and what is good.
It is completely and utterly based on a distrust of existence.

Here, I am going to quote Osho from his book “Only One Sky – On the Tantric Way of Tilopa’s Song of Mahamudra”:

“…Things are just the physical part of thoughts, and thoughts are the mental part of things.
Because of this fact, because thoughts are things, many miracles happen.
If a person continuously thinks about you and your welfare, it will happen - because he is throwing a continuous force at you.
That is why blessings are useful, helpful. If you can be blessed by someones who has attained no-mind, the blessing is going to be true – because a man who never uses thought, accumulates thought energy, so whatever he says is going to be true.

In all Eastern traditions, before a person starts learning no-mind, techniques are given and much emphasis that he should stop being negative, because if you once attain to no-mind and your trend remains negative, you can become a dangerous force.
Before the no-mind is attained, one should become absolutely positive. That is the whole difference between white and black magic.
Black magic is nothing but a man who has accumulated thought energy without throwing his negativity beforehand. And white magic is nothing but a man who has attained to much thought energy, and has based his total being on positive attitude. The same energy with negativity is black: the same energy with positivity becomes white. A thought is a great force, it is a thing.”

There are no defined lines. It is all flowing, constantly shifting.
According to people such as Gregg Bradden, the power of intention is only born out of no-mind, out of emptiness. And it is transformed and brought life through positive visualization – seeing the state desired as already being the case.

I personally still have reservations about this power of intention stuff.
It all too easily meets the definition of the false religion of the antichrist for one thing.
Secondly it is based on selfishness.
Even your good intentions for another are YOUR intentions, not the intentions of that person, so in a very real sense , it is a mild act of violence, as it is seeking to impose one person’s reality onto another.
One cannot know the meaning of the experience.
Someone’s negative experience that you wish to heal may be exactly the experience they need to transcend something they are dealing with, something that they have to learn.
You may be short-circuiting their experience and doing them a disfavor rather than helping.
Believing that your good intentions are exactly what the other needs is in this case most definitely an act of self-righteousness – of saying that “I know what is good for you”
So, let the thoughts form, let the blessings flow, but let existence itself take care of the manifestation.
You are not in control, nor can you ever be.
Control is a sickness, a dis-ease. It is a dis-trust.
Control and mastery are not the same thing.
Do not try to control the wave, rather master your ability to ride it. To flow with it.
In this, one can find infinite artistry.
The only thing one has a right to control is one’s own awareness.
Anything other than that is an act against existence.
Our technologies are against existence for the most part, so we create a situation in which we are not in balance with nature and our natural systems.
It is not that technology is bad, but that the relationship which we give it is one of distrust.
It is created because we distrust nature, including our own.
It is not supplementary, but rather dominating and aggressively exploitive.

We must all be careful with the ‘spells’ we cast, the illusions we project, the things we seek.
We are all interconnected, and truth, awareness, and authenticity will help set us all free.
And rejoice
Otherwise you will simply find yourself in misery.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

trying to understand this

How is it that some of us are made to starve physically when all we want is a little touch? A little lovin?

My experience throughout my life has been one that lends to frustration.
It is the cosmic joke in my life.
So many women love me so deeply.
Such incredibly deep connections.
Yet they will not cross into the zone of physical intimacy with me.
I ask, “why?”
Am I too intense?
Is it simply not the way I am supposed to be living?
Not once has it been said that it is an issue of attraction.
Almost every time, the attraction is there, but for some reason, it is not allowed to be expressed.
Brings me back once again to the concept of Brahmacharya.
Moving beyond sexuality and purely into the spiritual.
Dropping sex altogether.

Being an aries with major fire and an intense sensuality and romantic, devotional nature, it seems and feels absurd to even think about moving in that direction.

In one of the early and seminal books by Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh, titled “From Sex to Samadhi” he talks about the ladder.
How if we do not climb those first rungs…the rungs of the “lower” chakras, we cannot expect to be properly grounded in the higher ones.
To skip them is to in many ways not build a correct or stable foundation.
Sexuality is not to be looked at as crass, as something undeserving or wrong, animalistic and in the way or corrupting of spirituality.
Rather, it is to be seen as a possible gateway, a chance for transformation, for learning, for intimacy and the combining of the higher and lower.
He also states how at some point it is likely to be dropped, not needed anymore.

What happens to those of us that have already moved into the upper but never got a chance to properly deal with our sexuality due to childhood programs that managed to run well into adulthood?

I myself, have come face to face with the ugliness of misguided sexuality on many occasions in my life, and very very rarely did I ever participate.
I think of the chances for casual sex back in high school, the times that I was right there, being begged for it, yet I refused, because I did not feel that it was healthy or natural.
They were not women whom I wanted to allow my energies to mingle so closely with. The intention was escape, not a coming together.
It was not the way in which I wanted to share myself with that particular person at that time. There was not the level of connection, of meaning, which I find necessary in ANY endevour I participate in.
Somehow, it seems like in the reaction to backwards hamfisted rules about sexuality brought forth by dominator religions born in the middle east (the judeo-christian-islamic triad) many go in a meaningless direction instead of seeking a deeper truth about the role of sex and sexuality.

It seem to be only in some eastern traditions such as tantra (which is mistaken to be nothing but a sexual thing when it is in actuality a complete life philosophy that happens to include a healthy relationship with sex) and some western mystical and magical traditions that the legacy of a healthy relationship and a deep understanding of the energetics behind the ecstatic experience have survived and flourished.
They are only recently coming back into the mainstream mindset, and can really be a disruptive force for many.

In an age where meaningless animalistic sex is rampant, porn flourishes, it is not surprising that life itself is becoming more and more crass and meaningless.
Understand this – porn is not representative of the freeing up of sexuality. It is rather the debasing of it. Making it meaningless. It is an entropic and enslaving function.
Leftists and liberals need to understand that an opposite reaction to a stupid original notion does not make it healthy or right. It is nothing but a childish reaction.

And most importantly, hedonism without awareness or depth is entropic in nature, as it feeds on the suffering of others so that a few can live a life of escapism.
There is nothing wrong with a pleasurable life, with hedonism itself, but rather in the way it is approached and the qualities brought to it.
It is the same with all things both internal and external.

To quote from a book I once read but can’t remember the name of right now;
“How we fuck is how we create the world.”

Here is a brief primer on the energetics of ecstacy and sex.

We are all conduits. We birth energy and intention into the world with our every thought and belief.
When we are in ecstatic states, we become hyper tuned, so to speak.
Our channels open up wider, we have more of an influence on the energies in the world.
This is probably the MAIN reason why we are kept in fear, in suffering, and in a state of being terrorized.
If we are free from the fear and understand our own ability to influence the world around us directly, we become powerful and no longer need those who wish to control us through culture and belief systems to tell us what is what, or to provide for us the things which we have the ability to provide for ourselves and our communities.
When we come to an understanding that our every thought and action influences the world around us indirectly through the energy and intention we create with our beliefs, we have to wear our own responsibility.
Many are simply not ready for this.
And the implications are staggering.
If what quantum theorists posit to be true actually is, if we really have that much influence on reality simply through our beliefs and perception, then one must begin to question even the right to privacy in personal beliefs. Because if this influence is true, nothing is private, as we all directly effect everything and most importantly everyone around us.

When it comes to the ecstatic experience, or the orgasmic experience, and we are opened up so wide to the cosmos, to “god”, we then have to be doubly responsible.
If we bring selfishness or debased meaninglessness into the equation, we bring more of that into the world. If we bring love and prosperity, a sharing, a giving and loving attitude and intention into the mix, we birth more beauty into the world.

I’m going to go out on a limb and say that the majority of the human world’s problems are not caused by politics or religion directly, but rather indirectly, by influencing unhealthy, uncentered ecstatic activity.
Getting off as an escape brings nothing but less awareness, a deadness.
It is but a temporary jolt of pleasure.
This does not mean that it is not a starting point, but rather I would suggest that one move deeper.
It makes no sense to me that so many prefer sexual partners whom they do not know rather than those they love the most.
It seems to me that one would want to share the deepest of possible intimacies with one they love dearly, which they are forming a deep loving bond with.
But so many are confused about this.
And then they wonder why satisfaction never comes in their sexual relationships, why they are always at odds and fighting some unseen frustration.

Some psychologists and humanists would argue that sexuality is strictly an animal function, a way of people bonding in communities, finding their spot in the hierarchy. But I would say that they are not recognizing that their view is totally informed by the religious history of the west and by using the example of less evolved species in order to inform our own actions, which is not an evolutionary standpoint or view, but an entropic one. Looking at previous, supposedly less advanced examples to inform the future is like driving with the rearview mirror. It is obnoxiously ignorant and shortsighted.
If evolution is truly the case, then we should never be worshiping our elders, as it is the next generation which is ALWAYS more capable than the previous.

Time and again, good friends express their frustrations as they try to connect with situations and people that are obviously not naturally occurring, while right in front of them are loving relationships that may be wide open to this deeper expression.
The usual explanation is one of not wanting to taint the dynamic, or bring it down to a lower level. Or that the friendship could not survive if the sexual aspect does not.
At least this is my experience.
Yet this is exactly what they are doing by going to meaningless frustrating sources to fulfill their sexual and physical needs. They go to the shallow end of the pool instead of diving deeper into the ocean of love that is already there, waiting for them to dive in.

Our culture is destroying our ability to connect intimately within our own communities.
We have been convinced that we should not. That it will lead to complications that only exist in the abstract, in the fear that resides in the mind.
We have been taught to distrust our own ability to create our own connections and solve our own problems. To have friendships that can survive experimentation and growth.
It is the schizophrenic desire to either own or be able to completely remove oneself which causes the problem. Many do not see or experience the in between.
What if it is really possible to explore deeper relationships within ur own communities and have the support of that community as the experiment unfolds?
Is it not usually the friend who deals with the aftermath?
How is it that we have come to accept the idea that this should be separated from the actual experience? Shouldn’t we be going deeper into that experience with the actual participants? In a partnership that is based on mutual growth and self discovery?

I personally do not know what to do anymore.
I am frustrated with this cosmic joke which is being played with me.
I might as well not even have a cock.
What is the point if no one who I wish to share myself with is willing to participate?
Especially when I have so much to give in terms of intimacy and love?
I am NOT going to lower myself down to the animalistic, meaningless, crass world of one night stands and meaningless copulation.
It is simply not my way.
So, all I can do is accept.
Be ok with that which actually is given.
And maybe one day I will be blessed enough to start a family of my own.
One can only hope!

And I come back, once again, to it being just me, by myself, with no life partner, no one to share my daily experiences with, no one to sleep next to, no one to share even the simplest of intimacies with.
I say that, yet I see, right in front of me, the door I have been looking for.
A friend that will walk in that middle ground, be an amazing healing force in my life, even if that one boundary of intimacy will more than likely not be crossed.
And I feel infinitely blessed.

Maybe part of my frustration is due to getting older.
I’m half way to 70, and the world is becoming more and more a place of confusion and a place where we can’t quite be sure if we will be here tomorrow.
Yet another part of that frustration due to having the most amazing beings in existence in my life. (and that frustration is birthed completely of my desire for more)
Especially the most recent arrival, who completely and utterly blows me away.
It is difficult to not be able to express such intimacies with one whom I feel I have even lived previous lives with.
We search a lifetime for someone who can walk the walk with us, who shares that common deep language of our soul.
I do not understand how when that is found it is not allowed to blossom, to flourish, to be a coming together in ALL aspects.
But that is not only my choice to make, it is a process of co-creation, and once again I have to withhold for the other, or walk away, and I cannot walk away from such a deep love and connection.
So the drama continues.
And with it my depth and understanding grows too.

Can one really expect a new partner to come along and be ok with a friendship between a male and female which in all aspects other than sex is on a level of intimacy that could possibly rival marriage?
That is a lot to ask.
In my experience it gets to be a mess of jealousy.
The new person does not know enough about my past or the way in which I love to properly perceive my intentions. They do not realize that I may be overflowing and have enough love for everyone.
And I do not want to give up the friendship.
I WILL NOT give up those friendships for a relationship.
That is notloving behavior, but rather behavior based on fear and insecurity.

Matter of fact, I cannot see any other relationship even matching the richness of that deep friendship.
Rather, I see that deep connection being the seed for partnership, the place where good healthy balanced relationships start.

So I move on…slightly frustrated, a little amused, a little sad, and wondering if I can handle this process yet again.

The key is always to look at the gain rather than the loss.
And I have gained one of the most beautiful bonds I could ever imagine.

Someone who is healing, giving, loving beyond belief.
Someone who wants to be an active part of my unfolding and wants me to be a part of hers, intimately - in a way that is of the deepest variety of experience.

I cannot turn away from that.
The only thing I can do is dive deeper, knowing that somehow, someway, it will naturally be what it is meant to be.
Life takes care of us if we let it.
It is just a matter of trusting and letting go.
Let it flow.
And let love be free.

Monday, October 16, 2006

autumn colors - new dj mix

day 26 of 365 days

new dj mix!
feeling inspired.
love will do that.

here is the link:
Oct 15 mix by Slipp Chilll - 66.35 min. 91.5 MB @ 192kbps
mixed in Traktor 3

01. As One - Isatai
02. Clara Hill meets Atjazz - Nowhere (I Can Go)
03. Roy Ayers - I Am Your Mind (Basement Jaxx Summer Classix mix)
04. Alice Russell - Could Heaven Ever Be Like This (Bugz In The Attic mix)
05. John Arnold - Geminade
06. Likwid Biskit - Herbs and Spice
07. Positive Flow - Come Fly With Me (Mr. Gone's Re-confunkshun Mix)
08. Jerome Sydenham & Kerri Chandler - KÚ KÚ
09. Bugz In The Attic - Booty La La (Psyan's Booty Bounce Mix)
10. Delgui Feat. Marilyn David - Boogie Bridge (4/4 Tweak mix)
11. Bugz In The Attic - Move Aside (Cosmic Brokefunk mix by Slipp Chilll)
12. As One - Leviathan

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Blue Apples

day 24 of 365 days

a taste of enlightenment....

If i'd done this correctly in terms of the story in Eden, then i guess there should already be a bite outa that sucker, eh? ;^)

So, what exactly happened in the garden?

While doing some research for a book I am in the process of writing, I came across an interesting take on the Fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. But not as interesting as William Henry's (see BLUE APPLES link above).
It comes in the form of the Manichaen interpretation of the story, In which Mani attempts to explain that it is Yahweh that is the liar and that the Serpent is actually telling the truth when Eve takes the Fruit from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil.
I find this shortsighted but on the right track, and will explain my understanding after a little bit of background, which i have borrowed and seriously revised in terms of proper language (attempting to remove persuasive and coercive terminology and phrasing) from this page:

From approximately 210AD to 276 AD, It is believed that Mani lived in the area of asia currently referred to as Iran.
Manichaeism, a highly influential religion, was founded around him.

Manichaeism is extreme in its insistence on duality.
The Cosmos is seen as a battleground for the war between the material and the spiritual, represented as the "bad" and "good" gods respectively.
Christians of the period (and some currently) recognized the evil god as represented by Satan, but would not accept the idea that Satan could have as much power as Yahweh.
In accordance with the story of Lucifer, they hold that Satan (mistakenly considered to be a specific entity, namely Lucifer, rather than being an "office" or position of power or metaphorical description of an archetypal way of being and expression), unlike Yahweh, is a created being.
A Fallen Angel cast down from service to Yahweh due to his insistence on being separate but equal.(this is the birth of what we refer to as EGO - hence, egotism is Luciferianism - it is also the mechanism through which cancer cells flourish living at the expense of all cells around them and denying the symbiotic relationship to the whole - but that is another topic altogether that gets into holography and all kinds of stuff like that.)
This becomes a very important point in the story of the Garden, especially since there is the possibility that the Serpent is a third entity altogether, as the Serpent is not referred to by name as either Satan or Lucifer.

The Manichees were a syncretic religion, attempting to include the religious traditions within their experiential scope within their dogma and symbolism. As a result, they preserved many apocryphal Christian works, such as the Acts Of Thomas, that otherwise would have been lost. While eager to describe himself as a "disciple of Jesus Christ", Mani found the orthodox church rejecting him as a heretic.

It is quite possible that it was Mani's interpretation of the story of Adam and Eve in the Garden which led to his eventual demise at the hands of the "Christian" establishment.
According to Mani's understanding, When Eve takes the Fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, It is not the Serpent who is the liar, the "evil" god, but rather Yahweh who is deceitful and evil.
This is where I personally feel that Mani shows himself to be an unenlightened being.
His insistence on a dualistic nature keeps him blind from the possibility of BOTH beings telling the TRUTH.
the following in quotes is directly from the previously mentioned website:
(text in parentheses are my additional notes)

"Mani said that the Serpent told Eve the truth. That if she took of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil she would become as God and not die as the Evil God (Yahweh) told her.
Mani in identifying the serpent as the Good Spiritual God made it clear that the God we identified as Good (Yahweh) was the evil physical God because he lied when he told Adam and Eve that if they ate the fruit they would die.
The serpent who Mani said was the Good Spiritual God told Eve that if they ate the fruit they would not die but would become as God which was true.
That statement about identifying which voice was the Good God, the invisible one or the serpent is borne out in this scripture.", I see this as an oversimplification in the extreme.
First of all, there is no clear definition of what is meant by the term "die" within this passage. This could very easily be a mystical language, especially considering the context!
the death of the self? the death of a way of knowing and being up until this point (the point of tasting of the fruit), when we are reborn into something new? is it possible to die and not die at the same time?
I say an emphatic YES!
what is being discussed here is none other than that which the eastern philosophies and religions term Enlightenment, It is also represented in the Death and Resurrection of the many SUNs of GODfrom Christ to Krishna, from Osirus to Mithras and on and on)
It may refer to the dissolution of the self in order to be born into a higher state on consciousness, of being.
first step is the fall from innocence, the split which creates the situation in which one can know the "self" .
The foundation is built.
only then can one KNOWINGLY rather than ignorantly return to the state of ONENESS from which we supposedly rose or fell, depending on your interpretation.

Yet both Mani and the author of the website can't get over the Aristotelian hump, even though further down the webpage the topic is quantum physics which blows dualistic either/or logic out of the water in favor of a both/and inter-relationship.

more from the webpage:

" 'John 8:44 You are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father you will do.
He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him.
When he speaks a lie, he speaks of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.'

So you see Mani is saying that the serpent is the Good God because he told the truth when he said that by eating the fruit, Adam and Eve would become as God, whereas God told them they would die.

' Genesis 2:16. And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden you may freely eat:
17. But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, you shall not eat of it: for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.'

OK That's God's side, now let's hear from the Serpent

'Genesis 3:4. And the serpent said to the woman, You shall not die:
5. For God knows that in the day you eat that, then your eyes shall be opened, and you shall be as gods, knowing good and evil.'

Now we have two entities here.

One says if you eat you shall die. The other says that..s a lie you will not die but if you eat you shall be as gods.

So who is the liar and remember the Bible says Satan the Devil is the father of lies.

(this has got to be one of the most oversimplified and non-explanatory sentences in the whole website - we need actual passages that equate the devil, the serpent, and satan here, otherwise, this point is null and void)

'Genesis 3:22. And the Lord God said, Behold, the man has become as one of us, to know good and evil: and now, lest he put forth his hand, and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever:
23. Therefore the Lord God sent him forth from the garden of Eden'

So there is the answer.
The Bible says that it is Satan that is a liar and the father of lies. In this story it is the Serpent that said you will not die you will be as Gods.
It was God that said you will die.
According to the Bible they did not die but became as Gods. You can see for yourself, is become as one of us.
Therefore it was the Serpent who was telling the truth and God who was lying.
Thus who is Satan?
So Mani is correct."

-end of passage from website I think this is idiocy.
for a person who is attempting to play off some sort of righteous esoteric knowledge, this is an extremely weak argument.
It is attempting to use rational logic to understand a form of expression that is not based in logic and reason, but rather in mysticism.

I see it thusly:

By eating of the fruit, we lose our innocence and are split into duality. good/bad and all of that.
ask yourself, do you believe that the activities or possible actions that occurred both before and after eating of the fruit were different?
was there even an issue whether or not adam had sex with eve out of wedlock before eating of the fruit?
or how about if they liked backdoor antics, so to speak? is a possibility isn't it?
a visceral one...
or was that made a sin only after eating of the fruit?
or is it only the perception of whether or not that action is good or evil which was born upon the tasting of that fruit?

to taste the Fruit is to Die to Innocence.
the "good god" Yahweh does not lie about this.
but the Serpent does not lie either.
The messages of the two are COMPLIMENTARY.
In order to understand the world in dualistic terms, in terms of good and evil, one must sacrifice their innocence. To know of good and evil is to be as gods, or so says genesis.
The Serpent says that you will know as the gods know (as the higher beings know).
You will be started upon the path to a deeper understanding and relationship to the divine.
through opposites, definitions and refinement of understanding are possible.
Being able to compare, contrast. there are two sides.
but both sides are still a part of one coin, so to speak.
If the serpent truly says that Yahweh is lying, then the serpent is lying, not Yahweh.
In this way the serpent may be attempting to convince Eve that she does NOT have to give up her innocence to know good and evil. It is a very subtle point, but very important.
This is how people become enslaved.
Humans are misled about the repercussions of their decisions while those who wish to control have complete knowledge of them;
then, when the truth is revealed and the humans realize the price, those who knew what was up from the beginning conveniently provides a solution or sustenance that creates the situation which they so desired from the onset.
This is a kind of metaphysical dangling of the carrot.

Just follow the not worry...there are no holes in the road...oh, sorry..there was one right there...let me give you this splint for your broken don't ever take it off. I've given it to you so you can walk. now that you have been damaged, you cannot walk without it, so never take it off, you must now walk as i tell you to walk, for your own good, for your SAFETY.

So, be aware, and do not think that anything comes for free.
something must always be sacrificed.
But the dualistic path is the long path.
yet in a very real way, it is the Crucible through which we must go in order to reach "Heaven"
It is most impressively expressed in the tradition of Alchemy, the marriage of opposites.
There lies a rich language of symbols and language which stretched thru all traditions.
The answers are never in the dogma. it is dogma which separates.
it is the mystical which connects all things and transcends differences.
it is the DIRECT EXPERIENCE which is the truth, not the shadows of tradition.
an d the most visceral question of all:
"How worthy is a God of being believed in if he cannot even manage to forgive the one who was once his most highly respected servant? If even god is not capable of that kind of compassion, yet I am , what does that mean?"

Wednesday, October 04, 2006


day 18 take 2


wonderous dreams


my heart









her divine sweetness

day 18 of 365 days

Monday, October 02, 2006

Relax, it's all good

day 16 of 365

Road north and over to Foster Beach this morning.
I am LOVING riding the new bike.
Totally different experience than my other bike.
Actually enjoyable!
Decided to head home at exactly the right time because it is now stormin bigtime!
Yay fall thunderstorms!

congratulations to EB and BQ.
you too are great and I know that you will have a wonderful life together!
Way to go E!

Sunday, October 01, 2006

changes coming

day 15 of 365





All twisted

Massive change

Just around
The corner

Will there be



The time



I must
To the


The branches


Will not



It is time

To Live





day 14 take 2

day 14 take 2, originally uploaded by intuitive cat.
it is not
the urban self
which is clear
but rather
the meditative

OSHO - the rebel...a reminder

OSHO, originally uploaded by Tone 777.

People are afraid, very much afraid of those who know themselves. They have a certain power, a certain aura and a certain magnetism, a charisma that can take out alive, young people from the traditional imprisonment....

The enlightened man cannot be enslaved - that is the difficulty - and he cannot be imprisoned....
Every genius who has known something of the inner is bound to be a little difficult to be absorbed;
he is going to be an upsetting force.
The masses don't want to be disturbed, even though they may be in misery; they are in misery,
but they are accustomed to the misery.
And anybody who is not miserable looks like a stranger.

The enlightened man is the greatest stranger in the world;
he does not seem to belong to anybody.
No organization confines him, no community, no society, no nation.

Osho The Zen Manifesto: Freedom from Oneself Chapter 9

Whether he is wealthy or poor,
the Rebel is really an emperor because he has broken the chains of society's repressive conditioning and opinions.
He has formed himself by embracing all the colors of the rainbow, emerging from the dark and formless roots of his unconscious past and growing wings to fly into the sky.
His very way of being is rebellious - not because he is fighting against anybody or anything, but because he has discovered his own true nature and is determined to live in accordance with it.
The eagle is his spirit animal, a messenger between earth and sky.

The Rebel challenges us to be courageous enough to take responsibility for who we are and to live our truth.