Wednesday, December 06, 2006

cycles of expansion


The bittasweet taste
It sits on my tongue
If for only an eternal moment

Long enough for me to recognize
That tender revitalizing
Nourishment
Which blooms at its center

The bitter just a shadow
A projection
A protective coating
Made of preconceived notions

Roll it around on your tongue long enough
And the bitterness dissolves
Leaving such a grand sensation

..OH HO HO!..

my heart shouts!
as the sensation awakens
vision

Each time
The Goddess comes
And does her dance

Enticing
Playing
Teasing

Reminding me
Of the splendor
To which she gives birth

I get lost in the dance
Not unlike
A whirling dervish

These moments in time
Of intense focus on one
Bind me

Unnecessarily?

Or is it all
A grand part
Of the dance
Of all dances?

I needlessly fight with it
Attempting to break free
All of the while
Remaining intensely focused
On possibilities
Unwilling to cast them
Away.
Instead
They multiply.
And I freeze in my tracks.
If only for just a moment.

But in this frozen moment
Awareness is birthed
Only to be understood
Once integrated.


I drop to a tight crouch
Like a collapsing star
And forget for a moment
That once I collapse
Back to center
I will go



supernova



Like breath
In .. out
Back .. forth
Contract .. expand

Then

WHAM!

Sight beyond sight
Available when I allow it
When I do not impose
Intention and desire.

Goals destroying the now
Ensnaring one in futures
That do not exist
False destiny
The shunning of response-ability
Of freedom
For safety
And the ability
To find Prescient sight.

..To know the future is to be enslaved by it...

When we get so caught up
In what we think we should do
We do not recognize
The truth that is

NOW

My polarities
And process
Twist me

Seems that each time
I forget
For just a little while

Remembrance
Can come slowly
And then, all of a sudden,

A FLASH!

HAHAHA!

I am reminded of why I chose
Hafiz
As a master example

In love
I do not lose

Because there is nothing to be lost.
Only that to be shared

Once touched
Once energies mingle
They are eternally entangled

Quantum non-locality
Is what the scientists wish to call it.
But that is only one
of the many names
of
God.

Devotion runs deep
When connections are made
It is my
Nature

If you have been caught
In the deepest of my gazes
You know
Not through my words
But through experience

I may have overwhelmed
Stepped all over your boundaries
Sometimes, even I do not know
The devices I am playing
Until we look back
And laugh
All the wiser

Seemingly chaotic
A little bit crazy
But I DO know what I am doing
Although not always consciously
And it is exactly as it should be

I had been led away
From trusting myself
And my perceptions
My intuition.
Too many times

But I am learning
To trust myself
Again
At times seemingly over-dramatic
Playing with my own emotions
Letting them flow freely in me
Discovering their tastes
Their nourishment

Emotion is not a trap
But being a slave to it is

Without it,
Can we still call ourselves
Human?

The subtle balance
Inner .. outer
Mind .. body .. spirit
Me .. you
Individual .. community
Love .. friendship
Devotion .. freedom
New vision .. surrender
Doing - being

I see more than you imagine
And what you think is my imagination
May really be closer to the truth
Than you want it to be

Thinking I do not recognize
That which is under your mask

Hahahaha!

If you only knew

i do not need
But for a few primal things
The necessities
Of the flesh

But there are wants that come and go
And I try not to judge them
Rather to embrace them
And recognize them
So they can be transformed
Either through action
Interaction
Or through inner awareness
Transmutation.

Being human
I falter
As do all

I ache for a playmate
A lover
As is natural
I am not wrong for doing so
And I am not wrong in expressing
When I find someone I wish to play with

The number of fellow seekers in my life
Constantly expands
Enriching everything
And I welcome it.

Know that my expression
Of possible intimacies
Is not a static state
It is ever changing
And all whom have taken that chance
And danced that dance with me
Have always returned
If only to say
..Thank you..
And to allow me a chance
To do the same.

I do not say this boastfully
But as an expression of
Experience
And as a barometer
Of my truth

One thing is for sure
My love in unceasing
Once you have come through my door
It is forever open to you

Do not hesitate

I will never cease to surprise

Sunday, December 03, 2006

changes and opportunities


Transformations...
New daily rituals, things rearranged.
A time of change.
I keep on reassuring myself that I flow with it.
That it is heading somewhere, even though all I can see is a big nothing.
The blank slate.
No fate.
The golden path?

..Yikes!..
Shouts an inner voice.
How do we deal with that which is unknown.
Then I chuckle to myself.
..What else is there?..
That which is known is already past.
It is not even NOW.
Then another voice chimes in..
..But we want things to go THIS way!..

I just want to rest for a moment, I swear!
Just a moment is all!
Yet life does not stop.

I have been painting and it has been meditative.
It takes me out of my mind, my overanalysis.
Yet I always come back to the thoughts.

Infected with this headspinning, heartpounding inspiration.
It is good.
I learn as I yearn.
Ha!
Feel less taxed as I relax.
Let it be.
As is.
And let it grow
As it will
Trusting.

Opportunities,
Doors opening.
I have been invited out of the foyer and down a corridor.
Just as I ask which door to take
Someone opens a door, and says
..hey man, come check this out
opportunity awaits for you..

Music flowing.
Growing.
Guess the time has arrived.
Yay!
Kindred souls
Appearing all around.
Tempering myself, not being overwhelmed,
overindulgent in emotions, expressions.
It can be difficult.
But with the tension comes all of the reward.
Tuning those strings.
To play my song.
Do you hear it in the breeze?
It calls for you.
Teases.
Questions
Smacks you.
And lets you know you are alive.

A fire over-stoked can create too much smoke,
burn the fuel too fast.
A stead flow,
A gentle breeze
Tender prodding when needed to keep the coals red and glowing.
Luminous.
Tending the flame.

I see you with that iron rod.
Use it gently.
Yes you.
I know I need to be turned over now and then,
rearranged in relation to those I share my flame with.
I hold this flame and keep it alight for us.
Sit with me.
Enjoy the warmth.
Let my eyes shine in your direction
And see the fire behind them.
It burns for the Beloved
Whom I witness in you.