Sunday, September 01, 2013


I was talking with a friend of mine on her back porch the other day about the push/pull dynamic that lives inside of me in terms of the 'human' earthly life and spiritual life and work; how i try to balance them, how I've found that Sufism works best in terms of traditions in this regard since it does not demand an ascetic approach but instead supports integration into community and family.
I'd just shared with her my previous post (Prayer for those seeking to be healers) and how another friend of mine, upon reading it, had asked me if I want to be a monk and seemed a bit astonished at how 'religious' the tone of my poem/prayer was.
As I described my feelings in terms of it, questioning my path and asking if I should be, a hummingbird flew up to my back at the precise moment i asked "should I?"
Spiritual work, finding meaning, tantric philosophy, animism, transmutation,whatever you want to call it...always finds a way of being the core of my activity which all things are guided by. it is simply my way at this point in life. doing things for worldly reasons, beyond sustaining my own body and helping others along the path, is simply not a priority for me. I still think pragmatically about how the material world works and what is needed in order for myself and others to learn, grow and interact, but civilized activity has become, for the most part, an aberration in my life. it is a mere shell which is an outward form holding within it deeper work. this creates a tension which is difficult to describe, mainly due to the fact that American society and the modern mindset does not easily recognize such work nor understand it. I have found this to be especially true with those who are steeped in new age philosophies which put oneself first.

maybe the hummingbird is calling me to more lightness of being as i tend towards a sort of martyrdom.
whatever it may be, i need to spend some time in contemplation about it.

I give it no intrinsic meaning, but certainly find it interesting.
it should be noted though, that over the last few years, bird 'magic' and signs have dominated my life.
there was the red tail hawk on my porch, the peregrine falcon which flew into my home, the discovery of an unfortunately killed blue heron (by power lines) yards from my home, and many other bird 'signs'
I found this bit about hummingbirds as a spirit animal:

The hummingbird spirit animal symbolizes the enjoyment of life and lightness of being. Those who have the hummingbird as a totem are invited to enjoy the sweetness of life, lift up negativity wherever it creeps in and express love more fully in their daily endeavors. This fascinating bird is capable of the most amazing feats despite its small size, such as traveling great distances or being able to fly backwards. By affinity with the hummingbird, those who have this bird as totem may be encouraged to develop their adaptability and resiliency while keeping a playful and optimistic outlook.

here is a link to the spirit animal page